I feel like my previous blog posts have been pretty repetitive. I’ve been ruminating on how unsafe I feel living in this group home. And, honestly, I find it hard to blame myself. I was trapped. However, a lot of things have finally changed to be more positive and so I thought I’d put up…

Things are just not going very well. I think group home staff thinks I’m “over” being completely traumatized in March, as though they can do whatever they want and it’ll blow over eventually. But no, I’m not over being expected to just accept that part of being in a group home is I don’t deserve…

Well. Today started out pretty rough. It’s hard to work effectively with kids when you’re constantly being pulled out of the moment by suicidal ideation. It wasn’t like extreme, just enough to be annoying. And things that I would usually be able to ignore were suddenly triggering for me. For example, one little girl had…

The day treatment program I was in is now defunct, but we sort of have a group chat still, just most people left. I suspect it’s because I talked about my job too much. Anyway, I tried posting in the group chat today and didn’t get much in the way of responses, but I’m sharing…

I’d been meaning to update this blog for a while, but life has been exhausting. Then last night I called the hospital where I was inpatient for over a year. I asked about a specific nurse who had always been amazing to me, only to find out she had gotten a new job. I think…

In this video, The Skep✓ responds to Trinity Radio’s video, which is available here: I watched this video and wanted to make my own responses because I felt like The Skep✓ didn’t really do a great job of answering them. I usually like his content but in my opinion, this video wasn’t his best work….

I’m so frustrated. People have this perception that having a trauma disorder is about remembering painful things that happened and being upset about them. I’m always being told that I’m an adult and I shouldn’t let the past affect me. But it’s unfair and people who say that don’t realize how privileged they are not…

Well. I started a new job on Valentine’s Day, also in a child care center. It’s definitely a better fit even though the pay is a bit less, and I love snuggling babies all day. Unfortunately, a couple of weeks in, things went to hell here at the group home. An acutely psychotic woman was…

Well. Laryngitis was the final straw and I’m not longer working where I was at. Technically I quit and technically it was impulsive and technically it was probably a bad idea. I was convinced I was going to be fired anyway. However, I wasn’t necessarily wrong, and after weeks of intensely beating myself up for…

I’m still sick. On Thursday Jan 12, I saw my PCP but I was feeling better again at that point. Little did I know what Round #3 would bring. I spent Jan 16-17 (Mon-Tue) in the Emergency Room passing a kidney stone, while still sick with bronchitis. I wasn’t able to get in to work…