I’m so frustrated. People have this perception that having a trauma disorder is about remembering painful things that happened and being upset about them. I’m always being told that I’m an adult and I shouldn’t let the past affect me. But it’s unfair and people who say that don’t realize how privileged they are not…

Well. I started a new job on Valentine’s Day, also in a child care center. It’s definitely a better fit even though the pay is a bit less, and I love snuggling babies all day. Unfortunately, a couple of weeks in, things went to hell here at the group home. An acutely psychotic woman was…

Well. Laryngitis was the final straw and I’m not longer working where I was at. Technically I quit and technically it was impulsive and technically it was probably a bad idea. I was convinced I was going to be fired anyway. However, I wasn’t necessarily wrong, and after weeks of intensely beating myself up for…

I’m still sick. On Thursday Jan 12, I saw my PCP but I was feeling better again at that point. Little did I know what Round #3 would bring. I spent Jan 16-17 (Mon-Tue) in the Emergency Room passing a kidney stone, while still sick with bronchitis. I wasn’t able to get in to work…

As anyone who hangs on every word I write in this blog will remember, around Christmastime I had a horrible cold that I caught while I was in the waiting room at the ER for the Mustard Gas Scare Incident. In my life, when I catch a cold there is usually a period when it…

Well, I cleaned my room. All it took was about a month of work and my life savings. But it was worth it! Behold: To start, I got a super-basic-with-ads Netflix subscription so I could watch The Home Edit. That was so inspirational that I watched a couple episodes of Tidying Up with Marie Kondo…

I thought this was a funny description of a very real phenomenon. Even though I’m not trying to get pregnant, every period it feels like a piece of me is grieving that there’s no baby.

Background: My cousin died four days ago. I loved my cousin. I keep thinking that I should work on this dissociation and maybe feel things. Like, I’m so numb right now that I just took out the trash barefoot and wearing nothing but a tiny short-sleeved nightgown and barely felt cold. (It’s in the 20sF…

Well, as an update to last week’s mustard gas scare… still no mustard gas, but I definitely picked up a nasty cold while I was there. I was totally fine until Thursday morning and then wham. Also I know everyone gets nervous before starting a new job, but I think I’m more nervous than most…

I’ve been working on my room, so I thought it would be fun to start a YouTube channel under my blog alias and put them on there. Any readers could check you the channel on their own if they like, but this is the most recent video: After all this cleaning on Saturday, I finally…