Month: August 2021

I just feel… happy. I’m not very familiar with this feeling. Usually, my breathing is at least a little bit labored and I’m not used to it being easy. On the rare occasions that I do feel happy, it doesn’t usually last very long because I feel anxious about it. (Growing up, if I was…

This entry is going to have more to do with my development as a person and less to do with pure existentialism, even though existentialism always finds its way into my personal development somehow. Okay, I’m done writing and this is quite lengthy and probably could have been several entries. If you are new to…

We’re getting back into my painful past here so before we go any farther, I present a cat and a human with a healthy relationship and good boundaries: This video by Viced Rhino came out yesterday: Presuppositionalism It looks to me like the video that this video refutes is a pretty clear example of presuppositionalism,…

Both of my parents were marked by “signs of the dark tetrad.” Both inflicted extreme harm on me and enjoyed doing so. In no way am I downplaying the actions of my father, who enjoyed treating me sadistically even in the more commonly-understood sense. But this post will be about my mother, and why, with…

First off… my blog has a logo now! I am wicked excited about it 😊 Now to delve into slightly more controversial waters I present this video: I actually looked up the passages, and I was furious. I’ve gotten to a point where I can usually roll my eyes at atrocities in the old testament…

Below is a journal entry I wrote in the summer of 2010, when I first started experiencing “doubt.” The handwritten commentary is from today: I’ve already posted this video in a different entry, but I think it’s applicable here: In the “beginning of the beginning” of my apostasy, I knew there was something wrong, but…

I went through my Google drive today and found about a million old journal entries that I had typed up. I didn’t read anything from 2009 or before because I was still so completely brainwashed at the time that it was too painful to look at. Most of the entries were painful to look at…

I remember belting out the words to this song at my Evangelical college along with hundreds of other students. “You and I were made to worship.” But is it true? At the time, it sure felt like it was. Since then, I’ve heard over and over that studies show belonging to a religion—pretty much any…

(For an updated view on this, see The Sacredness of Sisters here: https://apostateturtle.com/?p=513 ) I’ve spent the past few days losing my mind. I have a lot of major stressors in my life including an upcoming abandonment, and abandonment is one of my least favorite things in life. Meanwhile, my family is still so deeply…

Yes, I’m dedicating today to literally watching cat videos. I tried to write an entry that required me to think intelligently in order to produce, but I’m dissociated today and my reading comprehension is shot. Even having a conversation is hard because I can’t follow a train of thought. This happens sometimes when I’m overly…