Well, I’m hanging in. Some people tell me that I’m doing great. From my perspective, the good news is that the med adjustment in the hospital has made the command voices subside. As for paranoia, when I recently went inpatient, I was troubled by three intense beliefs: I talked to the team leader from my…
Continue ReadingIntrinsic vs Extrinisic Pressures to Stay Home (I KNOW that going to the hospital has disadvantages!)
So, as you may know if you read my last entry, I was recently inpatient. The situation started around Christmas, and just kept getting worse. I definitely tried CopingSkillsā¢, but in this case, it didn’t work because my primary symptom was command voices. I was terrified of ending up inpatient, but I needed someone to…
Continue ReadingBeing Herded Through Life
Recently, I was trying to describe my experience to somebody by comparing it to the way sheep and cattle are herded. Unfortunately, I didn’t have very specific words for the process, so I was just like, “You know, the livestock is walking down this chicken-wire corridor and there are gates, but the farmer can just…
Continue ReadingBeyond Scattered
When I was a kid, I remember my mom swinging around my baby sibling. Sibling was an infant and had gone to sleep, and Mom thought it was hilarious that nothing would wake them up. Looking back, I recognize that this is normal for babies, and it was also developmentally normal that I couldn’t sleep…
Continue ReadingFeeling Scattered
Well, I thought I should try to tie together everything from the past couple of weeks. I feel like it’s been nonstop, but looking back, it definitely has indeed been nonstop. Which would explain why I’m exhausted. Anyway, I’ve been making videos with an mp3 to mp4 converter that I found here: https://converter.app/mp3-to-video So this…
Continue ReadingDBT for Trump
I wrote this to a mentor recently: Dr X once said there were four ways to address a problem. I forgot all of them but Google had my back: https://counselingcentergroup.com/dbt-4-ways-to-solve-a-problem TL;DR: So, I feel like we have options. One, we can be miserable. Two, we can just acknowledge that political unrest is a global reality….
Continue ReadingLiving Car-Free
I’m revisiting an old topic here, because I’m frustrated over not having a car, and I need to remember why I got rid of my old one. It can be a pain taking the bus, but I chose this for a reason. Difficulty concentrating was a big part, but it’s also a social movement. I…
Continue ReadingPlease Believe in Me!
So, as those closest to me know, being a mom has been the most important goal that I’ve had for my life, for my whole life, except during times when things were so low that I had no goals. Once Dr X did his intervention and I was able to think about the future again,…
Continue ReadingI may need a new psychiatrist
Well, things are not going very well with my outpatient psychiatrist. He’s hinted at throwing be back into VNA services a few times over the past couple months (“Do you feel comfortable managing your own medications at home?”), so I don’t feel like I can safely be fully honest if anything goes wrong. I described…
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