Well. Today started out pretty rough. It’s hard to work effectively with kids when you’re constantly being pulled out of the moment by suicidal ideation. It wasn’t like extreme, just enough to be annoying. And things that I would usually be able to ignore were suddenly triggering for me. For example, one little girl had…
Continue ReadingSharing so my therapist can see
The day treatment program I was in is now defunct, but we sort of have a group chat still, just most people left. I suspect it’s because I talked about my job too much. Anyway, I tried posting in the group chat today and didn’t get much in the way of responses, but I’m sharing…
Continue ReadingA Sad, Rainy Sunday
I’d been meaning to update this blog for a while, but life has been exhausting. Then last night I called the hospital where I was inpatient for over a year. I asked about a specific nurse who had always been amazing to me, only to find out she had gotten a new job. I think…
Continue ReadingResponding to 10 Questions for Atheists
In this video, The Skep✓ responds to Trinity Radio’s video, which is available here: I watched this video and wanted to make my own responses because I felt like The Skep✓ didn’t really do a great job of answering them. I usually like his content but in my opinion, this video wasn’t his best work….
Continue ReadingIt’s Not Always a Matter of Trying Harder
I’m so frustrated. People have this perception that having a trauma disorder is about remembering painful things that happened and being upset about them. I’m always being told that I’m an adult and I shouldn’t let the past affect me. But it’s unfair and people who say that don’t realize how privileged they are not…
Continue ReadingAlone
Well. I started a new job on Valentine’s Day, also in a child care center. It’s definitely a better fit even though the pay is a bit less, and I love snuggling babies all day. Unfortunately, a couple of weeks in, things went to hell here at the group home. An acutely psychotic woman was…
Continue ReadingThings are Evening Out
Well. Laryngitis was the final straw and I’m not longer working where I was at. Technically I quit and technically it was impulsive and technically it was probably a bad idea. I was convinced I was going to be fired anyway. However, I wasn’t necessarily wrong, and after weeks of intensely beating myself up for…
Continue ReadingThing are going even worse
I’m still sick. On Thursday Jan 12, I saw my PCP but I was feeling better again at that point. Little did I know what Round #3 would bring. I spent Jan 16-17 (Mon-Tue) in the Emergency Room passing a kidney stone, while still sick with bronchitis. I wasn’t able to get in to work…
Continue ReadingThings Are Not Going All That Great
As anyone who hangs on every word I write in this blog will remember, around Christmastime I had a horrible cold that I caught while I was in the waiting room at the ER for the Mustard Gas Scare Incident. In my life, when I catch a cold there is usually a period when it…
Continue ReadingIt’s Not Cheap To Be Organized
Well, I cleaned my room. All it took was about a month of work and my life savings. But it was worth it! Behold: To start, I got a super-basic-with-ads Netflix subscription so I could watch The Home Edit. That was so inspirational that I watched a couple episodes of Tidying Up with Marie Kondo…
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