Well, I thought I should try to tie together everything from the past couple of weeks. I feel like it’s been nonstop, but looking back, it definitely has indeed been nonstop. Which would explain why I’m exhausted.
Anyway, I’ve been making videos with an mp3 to mp4 converter that I found here: https://converter.app/mp3-to-video
So this is basically how things went down:
I didn’t even include the physical illness that’s been going on, such as the migraine I had on Thursday night:
So, it’s been a lot and I’m way beyond scattered! My to-do list is too long and I wonder how other people have time for leisure activities and socialization.
I am extremely excited to start my new job as an overnight addiction recovery counselor, which sounds fancy but it’s not “counselor” in the strictest sense of the word. Like I’m not solving people’s core beliefs about themselves and the world, I’m just making sure nobody burns down the facility overnight. It will be nice to have more money coming in and a regular, set schedule.
In a totally unrelated aside, when I leave for anywhere, I put on my cat’s CD while I’m gone. The music always reminds me of hymns, which is probably because both the cat CD and most hymns are based on classical music from the same era in Europe. It’s annoying to have an earworm, but even more annoying when it’s an earworm to some incredibly obscure piece of music that Google cannot help me with. Fortunately the Orthodox Presbyterian Church’s website had my back:
I found this rendition:
It’s amazing how normal these lyrics seemed until I look back on them now. Another hymn that sounds like the cat CD is this one that’s a lot more popular (and I didn’t have to use Google to figure out what it reminded me of):
I mean, it could be worse? I always interpreted flowing rivers of healing as clear implication that it was a flowing river of blood, which is explicitly stated in quite a few other hymns.
Anyway, I think the probability is extremely low that I’ll ever return to Christianity, but given that hymns like this are the childhood memories I have that are at least relatively positive (given the context of the rest of my childhood), I have to make peace with them. As niche as our faith community was, it wasn’t their fault that my parents were evil, which is why church stood out as a positive against the backdrop of really severe child abuse.
I’m actually considering earth worship. I found a book on it at Mill No. 5 but unfortunately I was too broke to buy it, so I have to hope that it’s still there whenever the stars align so I can return to the store and have money at the same time. I made a *list* (of course) of sources of inspiration
My grandma was into the same kinds of things and wrote books about it, so that would be a good place to start. But, basically, I just want a belief system where I can do this over my weekly salmon
Patti Sibley-Smith. (2016, November 2). Avatar Sorrowful Kill [YouTube video] retrieved November 24, 2024 from https://youtu.be/DlASxwkiLOY
I think Pagan music also is just really nice
Spiritual Awakening. (2017, March 9). Relaxing Pagan Music 🌾1 hour of Fantasy Music for Relaxation & Meditation | Celtic Ambient Music 🌾[YouTube video] retrieved November 24, 2024 from https://youtu.be/ZiQcKFgx440
Season of Mist. (2022, July 14). HEILUNG – Asja (2022) Official Audio [YouTube video]. Retrieved November 24, 2024 from https://youtu.be/q4DvaaWeN5o
So, I’ll keep my readers posted! In the meantime, I found another list I made once of Things That Bring Me Joy
