I wrote this to a mentor recently:
Dr X once said there were four ways to address a problem. I forgot all of them but Google had my back:
https://counselingcentergroup.com/dbt-4-ways-to-solve-a-problem
TL;DR:
- Remain miserable
- Feel better about the problem
- Find workarounds
- Solve the problem
So, I feel like we have options. One, we can be miserable. Two, we can just acknowledge that political unrest is a global reality. Three, we can find workarounds so that we can still achieve life goals (such as IVF) despite a really unfortunate government. Or, technically, solving the problem could be an option, but the only ways to do that really would either be to overthrow the government or move to another country.
Regardless of what option we choose, it can be good to balance acceptance and change. We can’t remain in a constant state of willful misery until we get a better administration. Not only would it destroy us, but it’s harder to make social change when you’re emotionally dysregulated.
So, that’s where I’m at. I don’t have money to move out of the country so I’m trying to either feel better about the problem or find workarounds. As with anything, we just have to take it day by day. Someone once told me, if you’re driving in traffic, you can’t think about every car on the road. You just think about you and the cars right around you. If we get a totalitarian regime or whatever, just ask, “What do I need to do to get myself and my loved ones through this day?” Kind of like how when COVID hit, we could either totally freak out, or figure out how to get a mask so we could buy groceries.
Aside from politics, I’m working on finding employment. I’m currently per diem and waiting to hear back from one place where I interviewed so I can know whether to accept an offer from my second choice. Which is unreasonably stressful. And in the meantime, money is awful because I’m skipping perdiem-ing to interview places.
On the mental health front, I’m hanging in. Dr V sucks but I need him for meds. I’m trying to get over the trauma of being detained at HBM last summer, but it’s still definitely harder to sleep at night and my social style has changed in a lot of ways. And obviously there are a lot of things that I previously would have shared with clinicians, which I now keep to myself.
It’s not all bad. I’m trying to be more active in the SMC community and focus on my goal of having a baby. Which is a huge part of why getting a better job is so important. Having that on the horizon makes it easier to handle daily challenges.
And, thankfully, the kids are good. Even when my life sucks, I get to come home to Kitten, and I feel like the luckiest person alive.
