I sleep with a CPAP machine. Sleep apnea runs in my family, but was probably brought on earlier in life for me due to the medications I have to take to survive my day-to-day with PTSD. Sleeping without the CPAP is like not sleeping- it takes time, but it isn’t restorative. The problem is, I’ve…

I mentioned in my last entry that I had a dream that things were okay and it was hard to wake up from. What I didn’t mention is that this has been a recurring dream my entire adult life. Sometimes I get it once every week or two, sometimes it’s basically every night. Right now,…

BFI. (2017, July 14). This Week: Homosexuals (1964) – extract [YouTube video]. Retrieved April 26, 2024 from https://youtu.be/6PBZQJb_7QI I saw this video recently from the British Film Institute, and it was weirdly validating. It was originally recorded in 1964, when apparently it was illegal to be gay in Britain. So they interview this gay guy,…

Hello! Long time no blog! I always make sure I have at least one entry per calendar month, so this month was cutting it close. I was short on time so I made this vlog/podcast. It came out really long but it’s been two months, and I’m not usually known for my few words. Digital…

Well, I’m hanging in. Some people tell me that I’m doing great. From my perspective, the good news is that the med adjustment in the hospital has made the command voices subside. As for paranoia, when I recently went inpatient, I was troubled by three intense beliefs: I talked to the team leader from my…

So, as you may know if you read my last entry, I was recently inpatient. The situation started around Christmas, and just kept getting worse. I definitely tried CopingSkills™, but in this case, it didn’t work because my primary symptom was command voices. I was terrified of ending up inpatient, but I needed someone to…

Recently, I was trying to describe my experience to somebody by comparing it to the way sheep and cattle are herded. Unfortunately, I didn’t have very specific words for the process, so I was just like, “You know, the livestock is walking down this chicken-wire corridor and there are gates, but the farmer can just…

When I was a kid, I remember my mom swinging around my baby sibling. Sibling was an infant and had gone to sleep, and Mom thought it was hilarious that nothing would wake them up. Looking back, I recognize that this is normal for babies, and it was also developmentally normal that I couldn’t sleep…

Well, I thought I should try to tie together everything from the past couple of weeks. I feel like it’s been nonstop, but looking back, it definitely has indeed been nonstop. Which would explain why I’m exhausted. Anyway, I’ve been making videos with an mp3 to mp4 converter that I found here: https://converter.app/mp3-to-video So this…

I wrote this to a mentor recently: Dr X once said there were four ways to address a problem. I forgot all of them but Google had my back: https://counselingcentergroup.com/dbt-4-ways-to-solve-a-problem TL;DR: So, I feel like we have options. One, we can be miserable. Two, we can just acknowledge that political unrest is a global reality….