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The Apostate Turtle

Author: theapostateturtle

Just a blog about a turtle and the Meaning of Life

Id Ego and Superego when you have C-PTSD

Posted on October 11, 2023October 11, 2023 by theapostateturtle
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I’ve been meaning to bring this up with a therapist or something for several years, and I don’t remember having gotten to it. Ever since I can remember, my internal narrative rarely uses the first person singular. It usually says “you” or “we” instead. When I first went off to college, the voice that said…

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A Parasite to Society

Posted on October 8, 2023October 8, 2023 by theapostateturtle
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So, on Tuesday night, I sent the PHP one of my famous emails: Hi. My day was good. After program, I got a call from the receptionist at my therapist’s office that my therapist never wanted to see me again. Therapist had never given me any indication whatsoever that there was any kind of problem,…

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This Could be the End

Posted on October 6, 2023October 6, 2023 by theapostateturtle
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Well. Back when I had my long inpatient stay with Dr X, one of my initial concerns was that I didn’t want to get attached to anyone, ever, because the other person always left. Usually, they do so when I’m at my absolute worst, because they decide that they’re not being helpful enough. One day…

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Met with doctor and social worker today

Posted on September 25, 2023September 25, 2023 by theapostateturtle
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Still inpatient. It’s been a bit rocky. I thought I had someone to clean my turtle’s tank and then the person forgot that she had said she’d do it, so I had to find a last minute pet sitter who could go in and do it today. However, this meant that I couldn’t spend the…

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I don’t want to be the person I am today

Posted on September 23, 2023September 23, 2023 by theapostateturtle
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About a year ago, someone shared a video in a Facebook support group I’m in that was so good that I went back to find it. And I did find it: Tragically, when I clicked the link, I got the dreaded: In good news, your girl the Apostate Turtle memorized the transcription. The delivery won’t…

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When the words that I’m saying and the words that they’re hearing basically don’t overlap at all

Posted on September 23, 2023September 23, 2023 by theapostateturtle
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So. There was an episode at work and I don’t want to go back and look at how much I’ve written about it on here. Suffice it to say, I’m trying to define “flashback.” So I found this video: This was my reply: Thank you for this! I have a diagnosis of PTSD (technically severe…

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My Life Story

Posted on September 18, 2023September 18, 2023 by theapostateturtle
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The latest unlisted YouTube video, just for my faithful readers

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I am so confused.

Posted on September 17, 2023September 17, 2023 by theapostateturtle
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So, we’re supposed to do “weekly updates” for the college class that I’m in that I’ve had a grade of Incomplete in since eternity ago. I emailed my professor and tried to keep it “professional” as usual, which in my life means being as vague as is emotionally possible. So this was me: Well. It…

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Thankfully, We Have Civil Rights Now

Posted on September 16, 2023September 16, 2023 by theapostateturtle
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I’m trying to avoid making all my blog entries be variants of “It’s going well” or “It’s going badly.” So instead, I’m going to attach a copy of the complaint form that I just mailed in to DMH. So. Here is what happened. First, it was September 11, so every millennial in the country was…

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Progress on the Apartment

Posted on August 28, 2023August 28, 2023 by theapostateturtle
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Well, I’ve made some progress on my apartment. However, my to-do lists keep getting longer and longer, which is not usually a good thing in my life. Currently, I need to: This doesn’t even include normal day-to-day tasks like meal prep. Now, I do have an app that has been helpful. It’s this one: You…

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Recent Posts

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  • Happy Videos of Home
  • I Just Wanted to Be Loved
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Recent Comments

  1. December 2025 Newsletter – The Apostate Turtle on Childhood Trauma and My Blogging Philosophy
  2. Life Plans – The Apostate Turtle on July 2025 Newsletter
  3. Life Plans – The Apostate Turtle on Life Plan, version ???
  4. Building Friendship After Trauma – The Apostate Turtle on “They don’t need to know you have trauma”/”Just don’t tell them”
  5. Building Friendship After Trauma – The Apostate Turtle on This Could be the End

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