I went through my Google drive today and found about a million old journal entries that I had typed up. I didn’t read anything from 2009 or before because I was still so completely brainwashed at the time that it was too painful to look at. Most of the entries were painful to look at no matter what the date simply because of the amount of emotional suffering I’ve been through in my life, but at least the things I wrote from 2010 and on included “doubt.” I absolutely pathologized it at the time, believing that my doubt was the cancer that was causing me to suffer. Now, I recognize that the trauma inflicted by religion is a large part of why I have C-PTSD. I stopped journaling after a few years, but there’s a lot of good material from 2010 and tapering off around 2015. I plan to slowly upload my work one entry at a time on this blog as a celebration of what I once misjudged. I hope you’ll join me on this journey!
