Below is a journal entry I wrote in the summer of 2010, when I first started experiencing “doubt.” The handwritten commentary is from today:
I’ve already posted this video in a different entry, but I think it’s applicable here:
In the “beginning of the beginning” of my apostasy, I knew there was something wrong, but I thought that what was wrong was my faith. I couldn’t fathom that Christianity might be wrong. And although I wanted to remain a Christian at the time, I was falling away for intellectual reasons, and I knew that that was going to bring with it a serious existential crisis. I wish that I had found Genetically Modified Skeptic so much sooner, because it would have saved me from unnecessary pain. When every pastor, chaplain, etc that I had ever met told me that there could be no true happiness outside of Christianity, I believed them, and that caused years of intense despair. If anyone reading feels themselves “falling away,” may you not go through what I went through. There absolutely is happiness as an apostate!
