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Category: Uncategorized

Living Car-Free

Posted on November 1, 2024 by theapostateturtle
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I’m revisiting an old topic here, because I’m frustrated over not having a car, and I need to remember why I got rid of my old one. It can be a pain taking the bus, but I chose this for a reason. Difficulty concentrating was a big part, but it’s also a social movement. I…

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Please Believe in Me!

Posted on October 29, 2024October 29, 2024 by theapostateturtle
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So, as those closest to me know, being a mom has been the most important goal that I’ve had for my life, for my whole life, except during times when things were so low that I had no goals. Once Dr X did his intervention and I was able to think about the future again,…

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Will There Be a Miracle?

Posted on October 24, 2024October 24, 2024 by theapostateturtle
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I may need a new psychiatrist

Posted on October 21, 2024October 21, 2024 by theapostateturtle
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Well, things are not going very well with my outpatient psychiatrist. He’s hinted at throwing be back into VNA services a few times over the past couple months (“Do you feel comfortable managing your own medications at home?”), so I don’t feel like I can safely be fully honest if anything goes wrong. I described…

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I should probably be working less hard.

Posted on October 3, 2024October 3, 2024 by theapostateturtle
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Well, I’m hanging in. The hospital increased my dose of an antipsychotic, which has helped a lot with voices and somatic flashbacks. In an ideal world, I would have been able to take a couple weeks and do a partial program but unfortunately, I have to make money. So I’m substitute teaching again. Then, this…

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Doing My Best

Posted on September 12, 2024 by theapostateturtle
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It’s been tough. When I was still in communication with my mother (so, birth through my mid 20s), everybody’s perspective mattered except mine. Any time I told Mom about anything difficult that was happening, she immediately wanted to “see it from the other person’s perspective.” Even if I wasn’t angry at the person. Even if…

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My Low Threshold for Total Hopelessness and Despair

Posted on September 8, 2024September 8, 2024 by theapostateturtle
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Warning: There are a lot of typos in this. Ordinary, I would edit them out. But this is not ordinarily. Well, it’s time for a proper update. Things aren’t actually going all that well. Previously, everything was awful except work. Work started going south, and here we are. Background The really major problems started with…

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FORELS

Posted on September 2, 2024 by theapostateturtle
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Well, a few months ago, I decided to find a Ted Talk that I saw once at a mid-grade mental hospital by the seashore. It was literally several years ago and I didn’t remember any keywords, but I took the time to find it because it had made a major impression on me. I’m always…

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I’m employed again!

Posted on August 31, 2024 by theapostateturtle
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Well, long time no post! Basically, I discharged from the hospital, got COVID, and then got a job. I’m actually surprised by how well this last thing is going. The cat is having a really hard time adjusting to my being out, and I’m tired because I still am getting somatic flashbacks for an average…

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You don’t go talking to a mosquito about your malaria problems

Posted on August 5, 2024August 5, 2024 by theapostateturtle
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Gas Leak: When it rains, it pours I woke up this morning to two missed calls from the pet sitter. My mind immediately went to a worst-case scenario, but thankfully everyone is medically fine. However the cat accidentally turned on the gas on the stove, so there was a significant gas leak all night. My…

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