Author: theapostateturtle

Someone commented a while back that I was creating my own religion with this blog and personal reflections. I asked myself whether that was true. Someone–I believe it was Tim Keller, although I cannot find the reference anywhere–defined “religion” as a point of view on what causes the most human flourishing. He said that some…

I recently spent a couple days in a panic that I don’t think your body is supposed to be able to endure for that long. I was just lying in bed, literally writhing. I wasn’t perseverating, just experiencing physical symptoms of anxiety cranked up to a really high level. Today they finally figured out medicine…

I’m forever writing on here when I need to process conversations with my providers. You’d think that I did nothing but talk to them all day. I do do other things. For example, Wednesdays are my favorite day of the week because the pet therapy volunteer comes in with a beautiful dog. It’s literally the…

One of the hospital’s chaplains came by to see me today. For some reason, they think I’m the bee’s knees. It made me feel really good. Although I’m not religious now, I was for most of my life up to this point, and I feel like the chaplains here can relate to me in a…

I’m considering going through this blog and taking out some of the more intense content, just in case I actually am discovered one day. For now, it’s been a rocky week. I keep making really bad decisions and I’m confused about how much “blame” I need to take for them. On the one hand, chalking…

Writing by hand exposes my weaknesses. There are definitely both spelling errors and grammatical in here. Hopefully 100 years from now when they dig up my blog and someone reads it, they will appreciate my being vulnerable!

I’ve been writing a lot lately, and I’m sure that at this point, I’m going through a redundant stage on my blog. The key to processing seems to be that you’re annoyingly redundant for a while, but it is absolutely essential to move past that stage eventually. Maybe blogging will help push me over the…

It’s been a while. I have to admit, I got a bit discouraged when I’d been blogging for a couple of months and still hadn’t gotten any comments. But really, I’m mostly doing this for myself and no one else. Any readers who ever happen upon this site will just be a bonus. I notice…

[Note from the future: The embedded link seems to not be working, but the URL at the bottom of the page is active.] I told my team today about all the things I want to do with my life, and I was surprised how positive they were about it. There was no mention of “Well,…