Today was the day that I actually got to go through my snail mail, which gave me a huge sense of accomplishment afterwards. First, my amazing friend had to make time to drive all the way to the hospital where I’m staying so she could pick up the key to my PO box. Then she had to go to the particular post office where my mail gets delivered, which is an inconvenient half-an-hour away. She used the key to open the box, then retrieved the yellow card that said that I had gotten too much mail to fit in the box (which we had predicted), then she stood in line at the post office and showed them the yellow card proving that she was the legitimate courier of the mail. Then she came ALL the way back to the hospital and brought it to me. That’s a true friend.
As you can imagine, I only get snail mail drops once every several months, so there was a lot to go through. Once again, I found myself helpless. I had to be supervised as I opened the mail on the remote chance that there might be a shiv or anthrax or god-knows-what lurking amidst the papers.
The stars aligned today and supervision was available and I got to go through a big pile of mail. Finally, something was within my control. I was extremely relieved to find that my inability to access snail mail had not created any major emergencies or even late fees for whatever bill or tax I was supposed to have known about by checking my mail. In fact, I didn’t owe anybody money, which was a small miracle. I filled out forms and completed small tasks that had been mailed to me. Then, I finagled manilla folders to organize the papers, and went on to organize the papers I already had into manilla folders. This may sound mundane, but acquiring manilla folders in here is like striking gold. I finally found out that there actually IS a staff member who knows where to find them, and I had never asked her because her office is off the unit where I can’t go. So I wrote a nice letter for somebody to bring to her and finally got the file folders I had always dreamed of. I was so excited that I decorated them with cartoon pictures of the contents (tax documents, to-do, etc). I don’t think anyone who hasn’t spent extensive time in a locked unit could ever possibly understand why manilla folders and snail mail could be such a big deal.
Anyway, I got magazines in mail which again would sound mundane to most people but is exciting for me. I have a subscription to “Reptiles Magazine” and one of the copies I got had a tortoise on the cover. I used one of the decorated manilla folders to stash unread magazines, and any old magazines that for whatever reason I had decided to keep. Now I have fresh magazines and two new books, also courtesy of the friend. I spend most of my day reading, so this is great news.
I’ve still been spending a great deal of time thinking about all my friends and how lucky they are to be mothers, and how worried I am that I’ll never be functional enough to have kids. When I feel tired, it’s hard for me to compare where I’m at to where I was several months ago, and instead I naturally think about how my friends function on like two hours of sleep a night, so why can’t I function on eight? Will I never be strong enough to have a baby?
So, the other day, I was once again pondering my life once I’m back to living independently. How would I know if I was ready to have a baby? Fortunately, a light bulb went off and I remembered a scene from years ago when a couple of teenage students entered the classroom exhausted, swearing that they would never have kids ever. A quick Google search revealed this:
By Mark Smith, Health Correspondent
08:29, 19 MAY 2018
Title:Teenagers in Cardiff are being given £600 hi-tech ‘robotic’ babies to deter them from becoming parents too early
Teenagers in some of the poorest parts of Cardiff are being given hi-tech “robotic” babies to deter them from becoming young parents.
The RealCare Babies, which are made in the USA and cost £600 each, are described as the “world’s most advanced infant simulator” and are designed to be as lifelike as possible.
They cry when they need to be fed, rocked, or changed and will scream for several minutes if their head is being shaken or not supported correctly.
Each teenager tasked with looking after a baby, typically over the course of a weekend, wears a wrist tag with a sensor that records their every movement.
Information on how successfully the parents have cared for the 7lb doll is then recorded on computer software which crunches the data and gives them an overall score out of 100.
Six of the babies are currently being given to teenagers, usually in years 10 and 11 in secondary school, at the Riverside Warehouse youth club in Cardiff.
But the plan is to extend it into other parts of the Welsh capital – and even into prisons – providing funding can be secured.
Experienced youth worker Theresa Sullivan, who runs courses on the RealCare Babies, said the dolls give young people a real insight into the realities of looking after a child.
“To be honest I always hope that the ‘parents’ fail and that they have terrible scores,” admitted Theresa.
“If the babies have too many episodes of neglect or head rocks then they will cut out and, in effect, die. It just switches off and that’s it – the baby no longer works.
“I have had young people coming to me extremely upset when the baby has died and I’ve had one girl in floods of tears saying ‘I’ve killed it, I’ve killed the baby’. She was absolutely inconsolable.
“I asked her what she had learnt from it and she replied: ‘That I’m not ready for a baby’. And I replied: ‘Well then, my job is done’.”
Theresa added many teenagers have unrealistic and idyllic ideas about babies.
“A lot of teenagers think a baby is all about dressing it up in their little Nike trainers, taking pictures of it on social media, and showing it to all their friends.
“But once they have the dolls and take them home they realise it takes a lot of time and effort to look after.”
Despite significant improvements in recent years the rate of teenage pregnancy among under-18s in Cardiff is higher than the Welsh average.
But in areas of higher deprivation the problem still remains.
“I worked very closely last year with a young girl who’d had an 18-month-old baby and was just leaving school so I do know it’s still an issue,” Theresa added.
“What we aim to do [as part of this course] is give the young people an informed choice.
“If they’ve gone through the programme and they’re exhausted and overwhelmed, just like all parents are, they are in a position to make a decision [about having a child] on an informed basis.”
Ahead of giving out the babies at youth clubs Theresa speaks to the participants about sex education, contraception, and alcohol and drug misuse which often lead to “risk-taking behaviours”.
“We then show them how the babies work, go through all the care it needs, and why they must take this seriously as it’s as close to having a baby as they’re going to get,” she added.
“Once we are convinced they know how to handle the equipment properly – as they’re very expensive – then we give them out.”
She said the advanced computerised systems in the dolls recognise when the baby is being held, rocked, or burped. It also records when the mum or dad is laying the baby down incorrectly.
The mum is also provided with a sensor which attaches to their breast to mimic the act of breastfeeding.
She added: “When I give the young people a baby I programme it so that it simulates what a real baby would do.
“There are 15 preset patterns that have been taken from real babies. There are five easy, five medium, and five hard. I’m horrible so I tend to programme all of them on hard.
“There are little chips and devices in the clothing which can tell when the baby’s nappy is being changed and when their clothes are changed.
“Over the course of 24 hours it would probably feed about five or six times, it would need its nappy changing about the same amount, and would need winding and burping. They also demand to be rocked and cuddled.
“The computer then gives a detailed breakdown of all these activities, what time these activities took place, how long they took place for, and whether the young people gave the baby the correct care or whether they neglected it.
“If the baby’s head isn’t support correctly it will scream for about two to three minutes until you have calmed the baby down.”
Theresa said the vast majority of people who take part are teenage girls and has called for more young boys to participate. She also wants the courses to be rolled out across all schools in Cardiff.
“I think, along with a good standard of sexual education, the babies should be part of the school curriculum for everybody,” she added.
“Of all the young people I’ve worked with in the past 12 years of doing this course I know of only two people becoming mums in their teens. I’ve probably worked with more than 100 young girls.”
The RealCare Babies were funded by the Hau Fund, via the Cardiff Third Sector Council (C3SC).
There are now proposals to run the course in Llanrumney, as well as other areas of the city, and in Cardiff Prison.
https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/health/lifelike-dolls-scream-need-fed-14674697
They are not available from the manufacturer unless you happen to represent a school district, which I do not, but thankfully some educators have taken it upon themselves to put them on eBay for Big Bucks.
They’re on my list of things to buy when I live independently and my student loans are under control. Somehow, knowing that they are available gives me a sense of peace, that if I’m going to ever accidentally kill a baby, it will be a robot and not a human.
