Author: theapostateturtle

Well, I’ve made some progress on my apartment. However, my to-do lists keep getting longer and longer, which is not usually a good thing in my life. Currently, I need to: This doesn’t even include normal day-to-day tasks like meal prep. Now, I do have an app that has been helpful. It’s this one: You…

…and, surprisingly, the same woefully-underfunded state program that ran the group home had a lot to do with that. They really came through for me in a big way. Being out of the bougie day program is also helping a lot. Plus, there is now a new support group for people who were born or…

Well, I flunked out of the bougie trauma program. My only coping skills lately is not thinking about bad things that happened. We weren’t allowed to talk about trauma except in vague generalities in order to avoid triggering other people, but the stupid program materials sure used a lot of “vague generalities” such as “sexual…

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8F2RYXT/ Well, I made my first-ever TikTok video. My turtle said we should get a job as influencers and then maybe we wouldn’t be totally destitute all the time. I feel like this might be an example of his naturally robust self-confidence getting the better of him. In other news, things are calming down. This…

And I don’t understand why I can’t get it together, because I already had that miraculous intervention and spent 14 months in treatment despite not being able to afford a residential treatment facility. The very last time I saw Dr. X, he pointedly said that he had decided to help me because he thought I’d…

Whelp. One thing led to another and here I am, back in the psych hospital. I’m disappointed in myself, since my last admission was in September and I thought I was past this. In retrospect, I may have been overconfident. In my defense, I knew for weeks that I was headed toward crisis, and there…

Well. I had been crawling along to my procedure tomorrow when they were supposed to do lithotripsy and remove the stent. I had communicated that I just absolutely did not have a friend who could hang out with me all day after the procedure, and my case worker was trying to get them to keep…

Well, I’m not dead and things are not as bad as I’d thought. I spent the night in the ER last night, and they discharged me this morning. This is how it went down: As background information, I got the ureteral stent put in under general anesthesia. I did not understand why the surgeon didn’t…

I’m writing this entry so I can mentally process what happened and how I ended up in the ER today. Last summer or fall, I got a UTI. I went to urgent care and got antibiotics. My PCP said that when I completed the course of antibiotics, I could just assume I was fine because…

One thing about me is that therapists are often shocked that I can talk about really severe trauma without seeming to have any emotional response to what I’m saying. This has started to be problematic now that I’m spending a lot of time with “neurotypicals,” because I can be tone deaf to what is and…