I posted my last entry in part because, although I was steeped in only the Christian point of view for most of my life thus far, lately I’ve been willing to give ear to almost anything but what I grew up with. The people who I admire who create content online watch videos they disagree…
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Reformed Theology: Ought Does Not Imply Can
I don’t actually remember what got me onto this train of thought, but today I decided spontaneously to look up “Biblical Counseling” on the internet. The way it was taught in the church I grew up in was that it was simply the regulative principle applied to counseling. For those fortunate enough not to have…
Continue ReadingA Small Breakthrough
I’m trying a new thing to see how it works. I’ve been “spacing out” aka dissociating when I try to write, so I went into a private room, recorded myself on https://resonaterecordings.com/voice-recorder/, saved my work on dropbox.com, paid a small fee to get an automated transcription of it on rev.com (well, technically it was free…
Continue ReadingDissociation Nation
It has long been noted that people like to present their best selves on the internet. I am sort of an exception to this and I do share some of my struggles. However, some things are too personal. I’m not trying to make my life look better than it really is; I just want to…
Continue ReadingA Good Day
I just feel… happy. I’m not very familiar with this feeling. Usually, my breathing is at least a little bit labored and I’m not used to it being easy. On the rare occasions that I do feel happy, it doesn’t usually last very long because I feel anxious about it. (Growing up, if I was…
Continue ReadingStream of Conscious: What I’ve been working on lately
This entry is going to have more to do with my development as a person and less to do with pure existentialism, even though existentialism always finds its way into my personal development somehow. Okay, I’m done writing and this is quite lengthy and probably could have been several entries. If you are new to…
Continue ReadingOld Journal Entries: Perseverance of the Saints Debunked
We’re getting back into my painful past here so before we go any farther, I present a cat and a human with a healthy relationship and good boundaries: This video by Viced Rhino came out yesterday: Presuppositionalism It looks to me like the video that this video refutes is a pretty clear example of presuppositionalism,…
Continue ReadingMy Mother, the Sadistic Pathological Liar
Both of my parents were marked by “signs of the dark tetrad.” Both inflicted extreme harm on me and enjoyed doing so. In no way am I downplaying the actions of my father, who enjoyed treating me sadistically even in the more commonly-understood sense. But this post will be about my mother, and why, with…
Continue ReadingThe Apostate Turtle on Abortion
First off… my blog has a logo now! I am wicked excited about it 😊 Now to delve into slightly more controversial waters I present this video: I actually looked up the passages, and I was furious. I’ve gotten to a point where I can usually roll my eyes at atrocities in the old testament…
Continue ReadingThe Beginning of the Beginning
Below is a journal entry I wrote in the summer of 2010, when I first started experiencing “doubt.” The handwritten commentary is from today: I’ve already posted this video in a different entry, but I think it’s applicable here: In the “beginning of the beginning” of my apostasy, I knew there was something wrong, but…
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