I’m trying a new thing to see how it works. I’ve been “spacing out” aka dissociating when I try to write, so I went into a private room, recorded myself on https://resonaterecordings.com/voice-recorder/, saved my work on dropbox.com, paid a small fee to get an automated transcription of it on rev.com (well, technically it was free…

It has long been noted that people like to present their best selves on the internet. I am sort of an exception to this and I do share some of my struggles. However, some things are too personal. I’m not trying to make my life look better than it really is; I just want to…

I just feel… happy. I’m not very familiar with this feeling. Usually, my breathing is at least a little bit labored and I’m not used to it being easy. On the rare occasions that I do feel happy, it doesn’t usually last very long because I feel anxious about it. (Growing up, if I was…

This entry is going to have more to do with my development as a person and less to do with pure existentialism, even though existentialism always finds its way into my personal development somehow. Okay, I’m done writing and this is quite lengthy and probably could have been several entries. If you are new to…

We’re getting back into my painful past here so before we go any farther, I present a cat and a human with a healthy relationship and good boundaries: This video by Viced Rhino came out yesterday: Presuppositionalism It looks to me like the video that this video refutes is a pretty clear example of presuppositionalism,…

Both of my parents were marked by “signs of the dark tetrad.” Both inflicted extreme harm on me and enjoyed doing so. In no way am I downplaying the actions of my father, who enjoyed treating me sadistically even in the more commonly-understood sense. But this post will be about my mother, and why, with…

First off… my blog has a logo now! I am wicked excited about it 😊 Now to delve into slightly more controversial waters I present this video: I actually looked up the passages, and I was furious. I’ve gotten to a point where I can usually roll my eyes at atrocities in the old testament…

Below is a journal entry I wrote in the summer of 2010, when I first started experiencing “doubt.” The handwritten commentary is from today: I’ve already posted this video in a different entry, but I think it’s applicable here: In the “beginning of the beginning” of my apostasy, I knew there was something wrong, but…

I went through my Google drive today and found about a million old journal entries that I had typed up. I didn’t read anything from 2009 or before because I was still so completely brainwashed at the time that it was too painful to look at. Most of the entries were painful to look at…

I remember belting out the words to this song at my Evangelical college along with hundreds of other students. “You and I were made to worship.” But is it true? At the time, it sure felt like it was. Since then, I’ve heard over and over that studies show belonging to a religion—pretty much any…