Insert Scream

Well. I had been crawling along to my procedure tomorrow when they were supposed to do lithotripsy and remove the stent. I had communicated that I just absolutely did not have a friend who could hang out with me all day after the procedure, and my case worker was trying to get them to keep me overnight after for observation. I called the urologist’s office today for an update on how this was going, and they just canceled the procedure as though if they kept postponing it I would eventually magically have external supports. I was halfway through messaging the doctor that he could either remove the stent for me without me having a friend, or I was going to find a cystoscope on the internet and fucking get it out myself, and if he had any doubts as to whether I was serious he could ask my psychiatrist. But I’m trying this new thing where I don’t get myself locked up in the crazy farm, so I ate a popsicle and splurged on Sims expansion packs. Might or might not have also gotten the Extreme Violence mod. Idk if it’s the best possible coping skill, but I don’t have cops knocking on my door so that’s definitely a plus. My case worker has been amazing and I’m practicing allowing myself to accept her support. If I lose my job because this temporary stent became permanent because I’m alone in life, I’m really going to freak out though.